


Ghostbusters: Hazbin Hotel Edition

by FurbyDisaster53



Series: Hazbin Hotel Movie Parodies [22]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghostbusters Fusion, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, F/M, Ghostbusters References, Ghosts, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29972298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FurbyDisaster53/pseuds/FurbyDisaster53
Summary: After Cherri, Angel, and Alastor get fired from their university jobs, they decide to form the Ghostbusters, a business in which they hunt down ghosts for money. Things are going relatively well for them, up until they realize an apartment building is a gateway to another dimension, and an ancient god is determined to unleash evil onto the world. Now, the fate of New York City rests in their hands.
Relationships: Alastor/Charlie Magne, Cherri Bomb/Molly (Hazbin Hotel)
Series: Hazbin Hotel Movie Parodies [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974124
Comments: 46
Kudos: 10





	1. A Full Torso Apparition

At a library in New York City, a librarian named Millie was doing her job. She brought some books to the shelves on a lower level, not noticing as other books floated off of shelves. 

She only noticed when cards started flying out of the card catalogue cabinet. She screamed and ran away. Once she was far enough, Millie thought everything was fine, but then she saw a ghost floating nearby. 

“HOLY SHIT!” she screamed.

—————————————————————

At a lab in a nearby university, Dr. Charity “Cherri” Beck was conducting an experiment with two volunteers. She tied back her red hair and pulled another card out of the deck. “Crymini, I want you to think really hard on this next one,” she said.

Cherri held up a card with a star on it, but had it turned so the volunteer couldn’t see the image. “A square?” Crymini asked.

“Nope, sorry,” Cherri replied. She used the device on the table to shock Crymini with a jolt of electricity. Next, Cherri looked at her other volunteer, Mimzy. “Clear your mind, okay?” she smiled. Mimzy nodded, and Cherri held up the card the same way she did for Crymini.

“Is it a star?” Mimzy asked.

There was a circle on the card, but Cherri nodded anyway. “It’s a star! Nice work,” she smiled. “Okay, Crymini,” Cherri said, as she pulled out another card.

“Circle,” Crymini said.

“Close,” Cherri replied, as she showed Crymini the square on the card. After giving Crymini another shock, she turned back to Mimzy. “So, what do you think?” she asked, holding up a card with a cross on it.

“Oh! It’s a figure eight!” Mimzy smiled.

“Holy shit! Five out of five! You can’t see these, can you?” Cherri asked.

“No, honest. I think they’re just coming to me,” Mimzy replied. 

Cherri smiled, then looked over at Crymini. “Nervous?” she asked.

“Yes. This sucks,” Crymini answered. 

“Hey, you only have seventy five more to go,” Cherri shrugged, as she picked up another card.

“I don’t know. Some fucking wavy lines?” Crymini asked.

This time, she was actually right; the card had a set of wavy lines on it. “Damn, this is not your lucky day,” Cherri said, before shocking Crymini again.

“I’m getting a little sick of this!” Crymini shouted.

“You volunteered, didn’t you? We’re paying you!” Cherri exclaimed.

“Yeah, but I didn’t know you’d be shocking me! What the hell are you trying to prove anyway?” Crymini asked.

“I’m studying the effect of negative reinforcement on ESP ability,” Cherri answered.

“The effect is that it’s fucking pissing me off!” yelled Crymini, as she got up from the table. 

“Then I guess my theory is right!” Cherri returned.

“You can keep the money! I’m done!” Crymini shouted.

“I will!” Cherri stated, as Crymini stormed out. Cherri sighed and turned to Mimzy. “See, that’s the kind of shitty reaction your ability is going to get out of some people,” she explained.

“Do you think I have it, Dr. Beck?” Mimzy asked.

“You just might, Mimzy,” Cherri answered.

At that moment, a blonde man ran inside. “Cherri! Ya not gonna believe this!” he shouted.

“Excuse me for a sec,” Cherri said, before walking over to her friend. “I’m in the middle of something, Angel!” she exclaimed. “I need more time with this subject. Can you come back later?” she asked.

“Cherri, as much as I’d love to help ya get laid, we got work to do. An actual ghost was spotted at the New York public library! Ten people saw it, plus it scared the shit outta some librarian,” Angel explained. 

“Oh cool! Then you should get down there! Just you though. Cause...I’ve got stuff I’m trying to do,” Cherri said.

“Ya gotta come! Al is already down there. He’s been looking into it, and the readings are going right off the top of the scale! We’re close on this one, Cherri. Trust me,” Angel said.

Cherri sighed and looked at Mimzy. “Hey, I gotta go. But I wouldn’t mind working with you some more. Think you could come back at like….” she began.

“Eight o'clock?” Mimzy asked.

“I was just about to say that,” Cherri smiled. 

Soon, the two of them made it to the library, where their friend, Dr. Alastor Landry, a dark haired man with glasses, was waiting. “Finally! What took you both so long?” he asked.

“Cherri was trying to pick up a chick,” Angel replied.

“Ah, I see,” Alastor said.

“Okay, we don’t need to tell him about that. Al, what’ve you found?” Cherri asked.

“This is big! Possibly our biggest discovery yet. There is definitely something here,” Alastor answered.

“That’s the same thing you said that time you tried to drill a hole through your head,” Cherri said. 

“That would have worked if you hadn’t stopped me,” Alastor stated.

One of the librarians, a short man named Moxxie, ran over. “Excuse me? Are you three the scientists from the museum?” he asked.

“Yep. I’m Dr. Beck. That’s Dr. Giuliani. That’s Alastor,” Cherri explained. 

“Good! I’m happy you’re here. Do you think we can clear this up quickly?” Moxxie asked.

“We’ll see. You don’t even know what you have yet,” Cherri replied.

The group sat down with Millie and asked her questions about what she’d seen. “I don’t remember if it had legs, but it definitely had arms. It reached out for me!” she exclaimed.

“Arms? Holy shit! I can’t wait to see this thing,” Angel said.

“Millie, I’m going to ask you some standard questions. Have you or any member of your family been diagnosed schizophrenic?” Cherri asked.

“My uncle thought he was Bill Murray,” Millie answered.

“I’d call that a yes,” Cherri said. “Are you drunk or high or anything?” 

“No,” Millie replied.

“Just checking. Are you menstruating right now?” Cherri asked.

“What’s that got to do with it?” Moxxie asked.

“Back off, man. I’m a scientist,” replied Cherri.

“I’d say that’s enough questions for now. Shall we investigate?” Alastor asked.

“Hell yeah!” Angel nodded.

The three of them went to the area where Millie had seen the ghost. Cherri was less than interested, certain they wouldn’t find anything again. Alastor and Angel stopped when they saw a stack of books in the middle of an aisle. “Look at this,” Alastor said.

“Yeah. Because no human could ever stack books like that,” Cherri returned. 

“Do ya guys smell something?” Angel asked.

The group looked over at the card catalogue cabinet, and saw that the entire thing was covered in ooze. “Holy shit! Look at all this,” Angel said.

“Ectoplasmic residue. Cherri dear, could you get us a sample?” Alastor asked. 

“Somebody blows their nose and you wanna keep it?” Cherri asked. 

“I want to analyze it,” Alastor replied.

Cherri sighed and put some ectoplasm in a glass, then the group turned the corner. Just then, a shelf fell over, nearly crushing them. Cherri turned to Angel. “This happen to you before?” she asked.

“Nope,” Angel said. 

“Cool,” Cherri nodded.

The three of them kept walking, but then they stopped dead in their tracks. Floating by one of the shelves was a transparent purple woman with silver hair. “A full torso apparition,” Alastor whispered.

“And it’s actually real,” Angel added.

“So what now?” Cherri asked. Alastor and Angel shared a look with one another. “Do you just….not have a plan?” she asked.

“Give us a break, this never happened before,” Angel returned. “Okay, we gotta make contact. One of us has gotta talk to it.”

“Brilliant idea. Cherri, you do it,” Alastor said. 

“Alright, fine,” Cherri sighed, before she went a few steps closer to the ghost. “Hi. I’m Cherri,” she said. “Where you from?” 

The ghost didn’t respond. She simply put a finger to her lips and said, “Shhh.” 

“Well, that didn’t work,” Cherri said.

“Okay, okay. I think I got a plan. Follow my lead,” Angel whispered.

The three of them started walking towards the ghost. “Okay….one….two….three….GET HER!” Angel shouted.

The ghost turned to them and shrieked, scaring the three scientists. They rushed out of the library as fast as possible. “Did you see it? What was it?!” Moxxie called.

“We’ll get back to you!” Cherri replied, as the group continued to run.


	2. Going Into Business

Cherri, Angel, and Alastor were walking through the city, and Cherri was laughing about the incident. “That was your plan, huh? ‘Get her!’” she teased.

“I got excited, alright? But we still saw something amazing! And we got pictures! Do ya know what this could mean?” Angel asked.

“Yeah, it’ll be bigger than the microchip,” Cherri replied.

“I think we have even more to gain from this experience. According to the readings I took, we may be able to devise a way to capture a ghost and contain it,” Alastor explained.

“That’s so fucking cool!” Angel smiled.

“Al, are you serious?” Cherri asked.

“I’m always serious,” answered Alastor.

“Damn,” Cherri muttered.

The three of them went back to the university, and they saw Dean Rosie and a few other people moving their things. “Hey, Dean Rosie!” Angel smiled, before he noticed the boxes.

“Are you finally moving us to better quarters on campus?” Cherri asked.

“Not exactly. As a matter of fact, you’re being moved off campus. The board has decided to terminate your grant, so you must vacate the premises immediately,” Rosie explained.

“This is bullshit! Why?” Cherri asked.

“Because this university will not continue to fund your group’s activities,” Rosie answered.

“But the kids love us,” Cherri said.

“Dr. Beck, we believe the purpose of science is to serve mankind. However, you seem to treat science like some sort of hustle. Your theories are absurd, your methods are insane, and you make a mockery of ethics. You’re a shitty excuse for a scientist, Dr. Beck,” Rosie stated. 

Cherri stared at her, then she nodded. “I get it,” she said.

“You have no place in this department, or in this university,” Rosie finished. 

Soon, the three of them sadly left the building. Alastor had gone off to get a few things together, and Angel and Cherri lingered behind. “We’re all a fuckin’ disgrace. Forget about MIT or Stanford. They wouldn’t touch us with a ten foot cattle prod,” Angel sighed.

“Don’t worry about it, Angie. Einstein did most of his best work while he was a patent clerk,” Cherri said.

“Do ya know how much a patent clerk makes?” Angel asked.

“....no,” Cherri replied.

“We needed that university! They gave us money, facilities, and we didn’t have to produce shit! Ya never been outta the college! Ya don’t know what it’s like out there! I worked in a private sector. They expect results,” explained Angel.

“Angie, Angie, listen. For whatever reason, call it fate, call it luck, call it karma, I think that everything happens for a reason. I’m thinking we were kicked out of this hellhole for a reason,” Cherri said.

“Like what?” Angel asked.

“To go into business for ourselves!” Cherri exclaimed.

“But the ghost containment thing Al’s got in mind is gonna cost a shit ton of money. Where are we gonna get it?” Angel asked.

“I don’t know, dude. I don’t know,” Cherri smiled, before she took a drink from her flask.

Soon, Alastor, Angel, and Cherri took out a mortgage on Alastor’s childhood home to use for the startup capital. “You’d better know what you’re getting into, Charity. My mother left me that house,” he said.

“You won’t lose the house! Everyone has three mortgages nowadays,” Cherri replied.

“But at 19%? You didn’t even make a bargain with the man!” Alastor exclaimed.

“Al, it’ll be fine. Who knows? The interest could be like….95,000 dollars,” Angel shrugged.

“Exactly! Guys, we are about to make history. Professional paranormal investigations and eliminations. The franchise rights alone are gonna make a fucking fortune,” Cherri said.

The team decided to set up their business in an old firehouse. A realtor, a man named Vortex, was showing them around. “There’s office space, sleeping quarters, and showers on the next floor. Plus, there’s a full kitchen on the top left,” he said.

“It just seems kinda pricey for a….unique fixer upper. What do you think, Alastor?” Cherri asked.

“I think this building should be condemned,” Alastor replied. “There’s obvious metal fatigue in all of the load bearing members, the wiring is simply dreadful, it certainly won’t work with our power needs, and the neighborhood may be one of the worst places I’ve ever set foot in.”

“Hey!” a voice called.

The two of them looked up and saw Angel on the second floor, standing next to a fire pole. “Does this pole still work?” he asked.

Angel slid down the pole, spinning as he did. “This place is the best! When can we move in? The two of ya gotta try this pole!” he exclaimed. “I’m gonna get my shit.” 

Angel ran off, then Alastor and Cherri shared a look. Cherri turned to Vortex. “We’ll take it,” she said.

Elsewhere in New York City, there was an apartment building called Helldour Apartments. It was home to Angel’s twin sister, Molly Giuliani, a beautiful blonde girl. She walked over to the door to her apartment, grocery bags in hand. Just then, her neighbor, a short, pale man named Baxter Marin, walked over.

“Molly! Hi!” he said.

“Hey, Baxter!” Molly smiled.

“I didn’t know it was you. For a minute I thought it was the drugstore guy,” Baxter said.

“Are ya sick?” Molly asked.

“Oh no, I feel fine! I just ordered more vitamins and whatnot. I was just exercising, actually! I taped a twenty minute workout and played it back at high speed, so it only took me ten minutes. I got a great workout,” Baxter explained.

“That’s great,” Molly replied.

“Would you like to come in for a mineral water or something?” Baxter asked.

“Aww, I’d like to, Baxter, but I gotta put my shit away,” Molly answered.

“That’s alright! I always have plenty of mineral water and other nutritious foods if you want any, of course you already knew that,” said Baxter.

“I do,” Molly nodded.

“Oh! I just remembered! I’m hosting a party for all of my clients! You know, in honor of my fourth year in accounting. I know that you do your own tax return, which you shouldn’t do by the way, I’d like for you to stop by. Since you’re my neighbor and all,” Baxter explained.

“Sounds fun, Baxter! Yeah, I’ll try to stop by,” Molly replied.

“Cool! Also, you shouldn’t leave your television on so loud when you go out. The bastard down the hall got annoyed and called the manager,” Baxter said.

“Huh. I didn’t realize I left it on,” Molly muttered.

“That’s okay! You know what I did? I turned my television up really loud as well, so they’d assume that both of ours had something wrong with them,” Baxter explained. 

“That was real nice of ya,” Molly smiled. “Alright, I gotta put up my groceries. See ya!”

“Alright. Bye!” Baxter replied, as Molly walked into her apartment. “I’ll see you later!” he added.

Baxter walked back to his apartment, only to find that he had locked himself out. “Dammit,” he sighed.


	3. We’re Ready to Believe You

Molly walked into her apartment and saw a commercial on. She didn’t think much of it, but then she got a better look at one of the people on screen. “Angel?” she muttered.

“Are ya troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?” Angel asked.

“Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?” Alastor asked.

“Have you, or a loved one, seen a spook, specter, or ghost?” Cherri asked.

“If ya answered yes to any of those questions, don’t wait. Call the Ghostbusters,” Angel said, as their number appeared on screen. “Our staff is ready twenty four seven to answer any of ya supernatural needs.”

“We’re ready to believe you,” the three said at once.

Molly turned off her TV. “I really gotta catch up with my brother more often,” she said. 

Molly headed into the kitchen and began putting her groceries away. While she wasn’t looking, her carton of eggs opened by itself, and the eggs began to crack and fry on the countertop. 

When Molly noticed it, she was obviously confused. She heard growling coming from her fridge, and cautiously pulled open the door. The inside of her fridge looked like a doorway to another world, and she saw a strange, humanoid creature. “Helsa!” it yelled. Molly screamed and slammed the door shut.

Meanwhile, back at the fire station, Angel drove up in an old police car. “Cherri! I found a car,” he smiled. “It needs a little work though.”

“How much is a little?” Cherri asked.

“I dunno…..4800?” Angel guessed.

Inside, a young, blonde woman was sitting at a desk. She was Charlie Magne, the Ghostbusters’ new secretary. Cherri walked over to her. “Charlie, any calls?” she asked.

“Nope,” Charlie replied.

“Any messages?” Cherri asked.

“Not yet,” Charlie answered.

“Any customers?” Cherri asked.

“Uh….no,” Charlie replied.

“Cool,” Cherri sighed, before she walked away.

As the two talked, Alastor had been setting up a computer at the desk. “And that should do it,” he said.

Charlie smiled. She had been taken with Alastor since she started working here. “Thanks. It’s really nice of you to help me. You seem really good with stuff like this,” she said.

“It was no trouble,” Alastor replied.

“Do you like to read?” Charlie asked.

“It doesn’t matter whether I do or not. After all, print is dead,” Alastor answered.

“Oh. Well, I read a lot. It’s so relaxing. And I like to sing, dance, and I watch a lot of movies. Do you have any hobbies?” Charlie asked.

“I collect spores, molds, and fungus,” Alastor said, before walking away.

“Dang it, I scared him off,” Charlie muttered. 

Molly walked into the fire house and over to Charlie’s desk. “Hi! Is this the Ghostbusters’ office?” she asked.

Charlie smiled, glad that they finally had a customer. “It sure is! How can I help you?” she asked. 

Cherri stuck her head around the corner, and her jaw dropped when she saw Molly. She had to be the most beautiful girl Cherri had ever seen. “I don’t have an appointment, and I’d like to talk to somebody,” Molly continued.

Cherri ran over to her. “I’m Cherri Beck. Can I help you?” she asked.

“I hope so. What I have to say is...kinda weird,” Molly said. 

“Weird is all we get around this place. Come into my office Miss….” Cherri began. 

“Molly. Molly Giuliani,” Molly said.

“Wait a sec….Giuliani? Would you happen to know a guy named Angel?” asked Cherri.

“Yeah! He’s my twin brother,” Molly replied.

“Oh cool! I’m his best friend!” Cherri smiled. When Angel and Cherri started working at the university together, Angel never wanted to talk about his home life. She had no idea he had a twin.

“Wow, what a coincidence,” Molly smiled.

“Okay, now, I’ve got a couple of questions for you,” Cherri said.

Soon, Molly was in the back with the Ghostbusters, hooked up to a lie detector test. She had just finished with her story. “That thing said ‘Helsa’, so I slammed the door and left,” she explained.

“Huh. Usually we don’t get that kind of behavior from a major appliance. What do you think it was?” Cherri asked.

“If I knew what it was, I wouldn’t be here,” Molly answered.

“Al? What do you think?” Cherri asked.

“She’s telling the truth. At least she thinks she is,” he replied.

“Sure, I’m telling the truth! Who’d make up something like that?” Molly asked.

“Ya wouldn’t believe how many people do, Molls. Some want attention, others are just plain crazy,” Angel said. “Here’s what I think it could be. Past life experience intruding on present time.”

“It could be some sort of clairvoyant or telepathic contact,” Alastor added.

“I don’t really believe in that stuff,” Molly said.

“That’s okay, I don’t either,” Cherri replied, earning her a glare from her friends. “But there are things we do in a case like this that can help bring us results,” she continued.

“I can go to the hall of records and check out the history of the building. See if any weird shit’s happened before,” Angel said.

“Good idea,” Cherri nodded.

“I could look for the name ‘Helsa’ in the usual literature,” Alastor added.

“And I can bring Molly back to her apartment and check her out,” Cherri said. She immediately realized what came out of her mouth. “I’ll go check out her apartment, I mean,” she added, before looking over at Molly. “Are you cool with that?”

“Sure,” Molly nodded. “Thanks again for ya help.”

“No problem,” Cherri smiled. 

The two of them left the fire station and made their way back to Molly’s apartment. Cherri looked around with one of the devices Alastor gave her. “Hey ghouls! Dr. Beck is here!” she yelled, before turning to Molly. “Do you live alone?”

“Yeah,” Molly answered.

“Just checking,” Cherri replied.

“What’s that gadget for anyhow?” Molly asked. 

“It’s technical,” Cherri answered, since she had no real idea what it did. She opened a door. 

“That’s the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there,” Molly said.

“What a crime,” Cherri muttered.

“Ya know, ya don’t act like a scientist,” Molly said.

“Oh really?” Cherri asked.

“Ya more like a game show host,” Molly added.

Cherri smiled at her, then they stepped into the kitchen. The cooked eggs lay on the counter. “Are these the eggs?” Cherri asked.

“Yeah. They just...jumped outta their shells and started cooking on the counter! And I heard that awful growling from the fridge,” Molly explained.

“Gotcha. I’ll check the fridge. Stay back though. If something happens to either of us, I’d rather it be me than you,” Cherri said. She opened the fridge just a crack, and immediately gasped. “Holy shit! What kind of a monster puts ketchup in the fridge?” she asked.

Molly looked into the fridge, and everything looked the way it did normally. “What the hell? This wasn’t here! It was a space! And there was fire and a building and these ugly creatures, and I heard a voice say Helsa!” she exclaimed.

“Hey, it’s not that I don’t believe you. I’m just not getting any reading,” Cherri replied.

“Ya sure that ya using that thing right?” Molly asked.

“Uh...yes. I mean either way, I’m pretty sure there isn’t any fire in there,” Cherri said.

“That’s great. Either I’ve got a monster in my kitchen or I’m fucking nuts,” Molly sighed.

“I don’t think you’re nuts,” Cherri said, with a small smile.

“Yeah, but it’s ya job to listen to batshit stories like this,” Molly replied.

“Molly, listen to me, I promise I’m gonna solve this ghost problem of yours. I’m a girl who gets shit done,” Cherri smiled.

“Ya really think ya can help me?” Molly asked.

“Yeah, it’s my job. Besides, you’re my best friend’s sister, and you seem like a nice girl,” Cherri replied.

Molly smiled. “Thanks. It means a lot to me that ya wanna help. And that ya think I’m sane,” she said. 

“It’s no big deal. I should probably get back to the station. You know, tell the boys what I found. I’ll see you later,” Cherri said. 

“Yeah. See ya later,” Molly replied, before Cherri walked out the door.


	4. We Got One!

The Ghostbusters sat around their table, eating etouffee Alastor had made. “To our first customer,” Angel said.

“To our first and only customer,” Alastor added.

“By the way, I’m gonna need some petty cash,” Cherri said. “You know, to do stuff with Molly. We don’t wanna lose her.”

“I’m sorry, my dear. But this meal represents the last of the petty cash,” Alastor replied.

“Great,” Cherri sighed.

Charlie was still sitting at her desk, and to her surprise, the phone actually rang. She happily picked it up. “Hello! Ghostbusters!” she exclaimed. “Yes, they’re serious….. You do?..... You have? Woah! Can you give me the address?” she asked. The person on the other end gave Charlie an address, and she quickly wrote it down. “Oh of course! They’ll be totally discreet. Thank you,” she said, before hanging up.

“WE GOT ONE!” Charlie shouted. She pressed a button, causing a bell to ring upstairs.

“Holy shit, a call!” Angel exclaimed.

The three of them rushed to the fire pole and slid down, one by one. They put on their uniforms, strapped on their proton packs, then got into the car. They sped to the address they were given, which turned out to be a classy hotel. 

The three of them walked inside. “Hey! Any of you fuckers seen a ghost?” Cherri asked. 

The hotel manager, Tom Trench, hurried over to them. “Thank you so much for coming on such short notice,” he said. “The guests are asking questions, and I’m running out of answers.”

“Has this happened before?” Angel asked.

“Well….yes. Most of the original staff knows about the twelfth floor. And all the weird shit that happens there. But two weeks ago, it was worse than it’s ever been. Now you can’t do anything without that….thing getting in the way,” Tom explained.

“I see. And have you reported this to anyone?” Alastor asked.

“Oh hell no! The owners don’t even like to talk about it. I hope we can take care of this quietly,” Tom replied.

“Don’t worry! We handle this shit all the time,” Angel smiled.

Shortly afterwards, the three of them walked over to the elevator to wait for it. An older man looked at them and raised an eyebrow. “What are you? Some kind of cosmonaut?” he asked.

“No, we’re exterminators. Somebody saw a cockroach on twelfth,” Cherri replied.

“That has to be a hell of a cockroach,” the man said.

“It’d bite your head off,” Cherri replied, as the elevator doors opened.

“Going up?” Angel asked.

“I’ll take the next one,” the man said, as Angel, Cherri, and Alastor stepped inside.

“Y’know, I just realized, we haven’t had a successful test for this shit,” Angel muttered.

“I blame myself,” Alastor said.

“I blame you too,” Cherri nodded.

“Well, I guess we can’t worry about it now,” Angel shrugged.

“Yeah. I mean, each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator. It’s fine,” said Cherri.

“Yeah. We better get ready. Al, switch me on,” Angel said.

Alastor switched on Angel’s proton pack, then he and Cherri stepped away from the blonde. 

Finally, the group made it to the twelfth floor. They began to cautiously walk around, peering around every corner. They heard some noise, so they fired their laser streams in the direction it came from. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a ghost. Instead, they shot a housekeeper’s cart. “What the fuck are you doing?!” she yelled.

“Terribly sorry, madame! We….thought you were someone else,” Alastor said.

“Well, I’d call that a successful test,” Cherri smiled.

“Yeah! Why don’t we split up?” Angel asked.

“Good plan! We can do more damage that way,” Cherri replied.

The Ghostbusters split up and started to wander the halls individually. After some time, Angel saw something that made his jaw drop. A small, pink, piglike ghost. It was floating near a room service cart, and eating the food left on it.

“Cherri? Cherri?!” Angel shouted.

He waited a moment, but she didn’t come over. Angel looked back at the ghost and studied it. “Awww, he’s kinda cute. Okay, I got a job to do. I have to hold him myself,” he said.

Angel blasted a laser stream in the ghost’s direction, but he missed. The pig ghost oinked in surprise and flew away, and Angel chased after it. He was forced to stop when the ghost flew through a wall. “Dammit! Where is he?” he muttered.

Meanwhile, Alastor was poking every human he saw on the floor. Just to make sure they weren’t ghosts. Cherri on the other hand was still walking around aimlessly, but she saw the pig ghost fly by. She grabbed her walkie talkie. “Angel….” she said.

“Cherri! I saw it!” Angel exclaimed.

“It’s right here, Angel. It’s staring at me,” Cherri replied.

“Ain’t he cute?” Angel asked.

“Angel, focus,” Cherri returned.

“Okay, okay. Don’t move. He won’t hurt ya,” said Angel.

Suddenly, the ghost started flying towards Cherri, causing her to scream. Angel ran in the direction of the noise, and he saw Cherri lying on the ground, covered in pink slime.

“Cherri! What happened? Are ya okay?” he asked.

“He slimed me,” Cherri stated.

“That’s awesome! Actual, physical contact! Can ya move?” Angel asked. 

Just then, Alastor’s voice was heard over Angel’s walkie talkie. “Angel! Are you there?” he asked.

“I feel so…..gross,” Cherri muttered.

“Al! I’m with Cherri. She got slimed!” Angel exclaimed.

“Oh, how wonderful! Angel, be certain to save some for me,” Alastor said. “Now, I need you to get down here as soon as possible! That ghost went into the ballroom.”

“Gotcha. We’ll be right there,” Angel replied.

Moments later, the Ghostbusters were looking through the seemingly empty ballroom together. Finally, they spotted the pig ghost flying near a chandelier. “There it is,” Angel whispered.

“That’s it. That’s the one that got me,” Cherri said.

The three of them walked closer to the ghost, and they all had the guns of their proton packs in hand. “Okay…. one…. two… three!” Angel yelled.

The three of them fired their laser streams, missing the ghost. However, they did hit a chandelier, and it crashed onto a table. “Ohhhh fuck. Okay, that one was my fault,” Angel said.

“That’s okay. The table broke the fall,” Cherri replied.

“Oh! I almost forgot to mention this. Do not cross the streams,” Alastor said.

“Why?” Cherri asked.

“It would be disastrous!” Alastor replied.

“How….disastrous?” Cherri asked.

“Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously, and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light,” Alastor said. 

“Total plutonic reversal,” Angel said. 

“Well, thanks for the safety tip, Al,” Cherri said. “Angel, take the left. Alastor, take the right.”

The three of them walked through the ballroom, then Cherri spotted the pig ghost by the buffet table. “SHOOT!” Cherri yelled.

The three of them tried shooting the ghost, but they missed him once again, destroying the buffet table and a bar in the process. 

“Okay, okay, let’s just put the trap down!” Angel yelled. Alastor and Cherri moved a table to the side, and put a small box on the floor. “Okay, Al, shoot!” shouted Angel. 

Alastor shot, trapping the pig in the stream. “Cherri, go!” Angel continued. 

Cherri shot, and the pig was still restrained. “Okay, ya got him. Bring him down, get him in the trap,” Angel said. The two of them carefully lowered the ghost downwards. “I’m gonna open the trap. Nobody look directly into the trap,” Angel said. 

He opened the trap, which emitted a bright white light. “I looked in the trap, Angel,” Alastor stated.

“Dammit, Al! Okay, just keep lowering him. Ya got him,” Angel said.

Alastor and Cherri lowered the pig ghost into the trap, and Angel quickly shut it. “Wow! That wasn’t so hard!” Angel smiled.

The three of them triumphantly left the ballroom. “We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!” Cherri exclaimed.

“Did you see it? What is it?” Tom asked.

“This little guy is what we like to call a ‘class 5 free roaming vapor.’ Pretty cute, but a huge trouble maker,” Angel explained.

“Now, let’s talk cash. For trapping it, we need to ask for…..four thousand dollars. But we’ll only charge you one thousand to take this thing outta here,” Cherri explained.

“Five thousand dollars?! You’ve got to be joking!” Tom exclaimed.

“Hey, if you don’t want to pay, we can always put it right back in there,” Cherri said. 

“No, don’t! I’ll pay,” Tom said.

“Great! Pleasure doing business with you!” Cherri smiled.

“See ya! Thanks again!” Angel smiled.

Alastor gave Tom a friendly wave, and the three of them left the building.


	5. That’s a Big Twinkie

After capturing the ghost at the hotel, the Ghostbusters began getting more and more clients. It seemed as if everyone in New York was being haunted. No matter where they were called, Alastor, Angel, and Cherri were there to capture the ghosts. However, some skeptics believed that the Ghostbusters were the cause of all the sudden hauntings. Nevertheless, the media was going wild for them. The Ghostbusters were being talked about left and right, and they were getting plenty of work, to the point where they sent out a ‘Help Wanted’ ad.

A tall man with sideburns decided to apply, so he sat down with Charlie for an interview. “Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, Bigfoot, ghosts, telecommunication, full transmediums, the Loch Ness monster, and the theory of Atlantis?” she asked.

“If there’s a steady paycheck in it, I’ll believe whatever you want,” the man replied.

Cherri and Angel walked in, with Angel followed by the pig ghost. Instead of keeping him contained, Angel decided to take him in as a pet. He named the ghost Fat Nuggets, since it seemed to suit him. 

“It’s too bad Nuggets can’t come with us on business,” Angel said.

“I mean...you don’t want him getting caught in a stream,” Cherri replied.

“Yeah, I know. Guess I just have to stick with playing with him when I get back,” Angel smiled, before he turned to Cherri. “Have ya been getting enough sleep? Ya don’t look so good.”

“I don’t?” Cherri asked.

“Yeah, ya looked better,” Angel replied.

Cherri sighed and handed some papers to Charlie. “Thanks! Here’s tonight’s worksheet,” Charlie smiled, as she handed them a paper.

“Great,” Angel said, before turning to Nuggets. “It’s gonna be another long night, baby.”

“Oh! This is Rick Husker. He’s here for the job,” Charlie said.

“Sweet, you’re hired. Cherri Beck, Angel Giuliani. Take this,” Cherri said, as she passed a containment unit to Husk. “Welcome aboard,” she added.

Later that day, Molly had just gotten done with rehearsal at the concert hall, and she spotted Cherri outside. “Cherri! How ya doing?” she asked.

“Great. That was an amazing rehearsal,” Cherri smiled.

“Ya heard it?” Molly asked.

“Hell yeah. Definitely the best one in your row,” replied Cherri.

“Ya got good ears. Most people can’t hear me with the whole orchestra playing,” Molly smirked.

“Uh…...I don’t have to take this abuse from you. There are hundreds of people dying to abuse me,” Cherri said.

“Oh yeah. Ya a big celebrity now. Hey, did ya make any developments in my case?” Molly asked.

“Oh yeah! We found out what ‘Helsa’ means. It’s the name of a demigod that was worshipped back in 6,000 B.C. by the Sumerians,” Cherri explained, as she passed Molly a paper with information on it.

“‘Helsa was the minion of Killjoy.’ Who’s Killjoy?” Molly asked.

“Katie Killjoy was very big in Sumeria,” Cherri replied.

“Then what’s she doing in my fridge?” Molly asked. 

“I haven’t figured out that part yet,” Cherri answered. “Maybe I should check out your apartment again. Like….Thursday night? Nine-ish?”

Molly smiled slightly. “Is this about investigating or just hanging out with me?” she asked.

“I can multitask, can’t I?” Cherri grinned. “See you Thursday?”

“See ya Thursday,” Molly nodded, before the two parted ways.

Later, back at the firehouse, Angel was showing Husk around. “Alright, so this is what we contain the ghosts in. Pretty simple really. All the ghosts we catch go in there. Except of course for this little guy,” Angel explained, as he motioned towards Fat Nuggets. He looked back at Husk and smirked. “I bet ya would look hot in our uniforms.”

“Fuck off,” Husk muttered.

Charlie walked over and tapped Cherri on the shoulder. “Cherri! Hi. There’s a man in your office who wants to see you,” she said.

“What’s he want?” Cherri asked.

“I don’t know. All I do know is that I’ve been working without a break for two weeks, and it’d be really nice if you hired more help,” Charlie replied. 

“Hey, we got Husk. You’re welcome,” Cherri said. She headed to her office, where an unfamiliar man was waiting. “What do you want?”

“Wow, rude much? I’m Blitzo Rogers of the E.P.A,” the man said.

“Oh. Cool,” Cherri said.

“You’re Charity Beck, right?” Blitzo asked.

“Yep, I’m Dr. Beck,” Cherri nodded. 

“Okay, so what are you a doctor of?” Blitzo asked.

“I have a PhD in psychology,” Cherri answered.

“Uh huh. So you jumped from that to catching ghosts? Yeah that makes total fucking sense,” Blitzo said. “So, how many ghosts did you catch?”

“I really don’t know, man,” shrugged Cherri.

“So where do you even put them?” Blitzo asked.

“A storage facility, duh,” Cherri replied.

“Is that storage facility in this building?” Blitzo asked.

“No shit. It wouldn’t make a lot of sense if it didn’t,” Cherri said.

“Damn, I get it, calm down. Can I see it?” Blitzo asked.

“Nope,” Cherri answered.

“Why?!” Blitzo yelled.

“You didn’t use the magic word,” Cherri smirked.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” Blitzo muttered. “Can I PLEASE see it?”

“I mean...I could show you. But why?” Cherri asked.

“I’m fucking curious, that’s why! I wanna know what you do here. I’ve heard all the stories, and it’s my job to check out the environmental impact of your operation. And you probably have a shit ton of hazardous waste here! Either you show me what’s down there, or I’m coming back with a court order!” Blitzo yelled.

“If you get a court order, I’ll sue your ass for wrongful prosecution!” Cherri returned.

“Have it your way, bitch!” Blitzo shouted.

Meanwhile, Husk, Alastor, Angel, and Fat Nuggets were near the storage unit. “I’m beginning to get worried. We have quite a few ghosts in there, and my data is pointing to something big on the horizon,” Alastor said.

“What do you mean?” Husk asked.

“Well….” Alastor began, before he picked up a twinkie. “Let’s say this twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. According to my recent discoveries, it would be a twinkie thirty five feet long and weighing about six hundred pounds.”

“That’s a big twinkie,” Husk stated.

“I bet ya got a pretty big twinkie too, Husk,” Angel smirked, causing his new coworker to roll his eyes. “But seriously, we could be on the verge of a fucking dangerous PKE surge.”

Cherri walked down the stairs to meet them. “Well, we got a visit from the Environmental Protection Agency. How’s the grid looking?” she asked.

“It isn’t doing well,” Alastor replied.

“Tell her about the twinkie,” Husk added.

Cherri raised an eyebrow. “What about the twinkie?”


	6. Who Brought the Dog?

Lightning flashed outside of Helldour Apartments. What no one knew was that the statues on the roof began to move. 

Molly had walked out of the elevator and was headed towards her room. Noise blasted from Baxter’s apartment, so she tried to simply walk past it. However, Baxter coincidentally opened the door and gave her a smile. “Molly! Hey there,” he said.

“Hi, Baxter,” Molly replied.

“You should come in here! You’re missing a fantastic party,” Baxter said.

“Awww, I would if I could, Baxter. But I got a date coming,” Molly replied.

Baxter’s eyes widened, and he walked over to her, his door shutting behind him. “You mean….a date? Tonight?” 

“Yeah. I’m sorry, Baxter,” Molly said.

Baxter paused for a moment, then gave her an understanding nod. “That’s alright. You can bring them too,” he said.

Molly sighed, and decided she wanted to spare his feelings. “Okay. Maybe we’ll stop by,” she said.

“That’s great! I’ll tell the others you’re coming. It’ll be fun! We’re going to play Twister!” Baxter exclaimed, as Molly headed into her apartment. He went to open his door, but found himself locked out again. “GUYS, LET ME IN!” 

Once in her room, Molly took off her shoes. The phone rang, so she rushed to pick it up. “Adriano! It’s been a while! How are ya?.....That’s good! Yeah, I’ve been doing good too. Angel started up a business with some friends…...Oh, ya saw ‘em already? Y’know, I got a date with one of them later…….No, not the geeky guy with glasses. Cherri. She’s the cute one.”

As Molly talked with her brother, she didn’t notice the eerie glow coming from her kitchen door. “I’ll let ya know how it all turns out. I love ya!.....Tell Dad I hope he’s doin’ okay or whatever…...Uh huh…..See ya!” Molly said, before she finally hung up. 

She leaned back in her chair, and it was only then she saw the mysterious light. She watched as something appeared to claw against her kitchen door. “Oh shit…” she muttered.

Before Molly could get up from her chair, a hand sprung out from it, holding her in place. More hands did the same, muffling Molly’s screams and making it impossible for her to move. 

The kitchen door swung open, revealing some sort of demon girl with white hair. She gave Molly a devilish smirk, and Molly was taken into the kitchen. 

Meanwhile, Baxter’s party was a complete failure. No one was dancing, they simply stood around awkwardly. Baxter still considered it a victory. At least he got people to come. There was a knock at the door. Baxter rushed to get it, and saw two more clients of his. “Hello there! Welcome, welcome. I’ll get your coats,” he said. 

The two of them passed Baxter their coats, and he tossed them into the closet. He didn’t even notice the green haired boy sitting there.

“So, do any of you want to play Monopoly?” Baxter asked. Just then, people heard growling coming from the closet. “Okay, who brought the dog?” 

The green haired demon jumped out of the closet. The guests began to scream, and Baxter ran out the door. Instead of going after any of the other guests, the demon followed him out. Soon, Baxter had left the building. “HELP! SOME GUY ON DRUGS IS TRYING TO KILL ME!” he yelled. 

The demon chased after Baxter, until Baxter stopped at a restaurant with glass walls. He pounded on them, trying to see if someone would let him in, but he had no luck. Baxter saw the demon walking closer and closer to him. “Please don’t kill me! I can give you...money or something,” he said.

“I have one question for you…....am I scary?” the demon asked. Baxter nodded. “HAHA! Yes! In your face, Helsa! I’m scary as fuck!” he cheered, before looking back at Baxter. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Baxter immediately screamed, and no one in the restaurant did anything.

Back at the apartment building, Cherri showed up at Molly’s for their date. She noticed the police cars outside of the building. “What happened?” she asked.

“Some guy high off his ass caused some trouble,” the police officer replied.

“Oh. Is Molly Giuliani still here?” Cherri asked.

“Should be,” the officer replied. 

“Cool,” Cherri smiled.

She headed up to Molly’s apartment, completely ignoring Baxter’s broken down door, and knocked. Molly pulled open the door, and Cherri was a bit surprised to see her wearing a sexy, flowing pink gown. “That’s...a new look for you. I mean I don’t hate it. But it’s...new,” Cherri said.

“Are you the key master?” Molly whispered. 

“Nope,” Cherri replied. At that, Molly slammed the door. Cherri was forced to knock again. Once again, Molly opened the door.

“Are you the key master?” she repeated.

“Yeah! I’m a friend of his, he told me to meet him here,” Cherri said, as she stepped inside. “I...didn’t get your name.”

“Helsa Von Eldritch. I’m the gatekeeper,” Molly replied. 

“Okay…..what are we doing today, Helsa?” Cherri asked.

“We have to prepare for the coming of Killjoy, duh,” Molly returned.

Cherri had caught on that Molly was obviously possessed, and she watched as Molly set strange objects on the bed. “Are we still going out?” Cherri asked. “I mean, you could pick up the place if you’re expecting someone.”

“Shut up! We have work to do. Now sit,” Molly said, as she motioned to the spot on the bed beside her.

“No, I don’t think I will. We have a little rule never to get involved with possessed people,” Cherri replied.

Molly growled, then she hit Cherri in the face. Cherri pushed Molly onto the bed as gently as she could, but the trinkets on the bed still fell off. “Calm down! I want you to relax, okay? I want you to relax, and I want to talk to talk to Molly. Molly, it’s Cherri. Are you in there?” she asked.

“There is no Molly. Only Helsa,” she returned.

“Helsa, I said I want to talk to Molly. Molly,” Cherri said.

“There is no Molly. Only Helsa!” she repeated, her voice sounding more demonic. 

“You must be an amazing singer. Now, I’m gonna count to three, Helsa. And if I can’t talk to Molly, there’s gonna be some real trouble in this apartment. One….two…..” began Cherri.

Molly began growling, then she started to float above the bed. Cherri carefully assessed the scene, and did the one thing she could think to do. “Please come down,” she said.

“Fuck no,” Molly hissed.

Meanwhile, a disheveled Baxter was running around wildly. “Where is she? Where the hell is she?!” he asked. He heard a horse winnie, so he ran towards it. “I’m Seviathan Von Eldritch, key master to Katie Killjoy. Are you the gatekeeper?” he asked.

The horse simply neighed. “Seriously Helsa, I’m sick of this stupid body already. Is it you or not?” Baxter asked.

“Hey! He pulls the wagon, I make the deals. You want a ride?” the coachman asked.

Baxter stared at him, his eyes glowing green. He turned back to the horse. “Wait for the sign, and all prisoners will be released,” he whispered, before looking at the coachman again. “FUCK YOU!” he shouted, before running away and crashing through a pile of trash. 

“What an asshole….” the coachman muttered.


	7. The Gatekeeper and the Key Master

There was a knock at the fire station door. Charlie opened it up and saw a police officer on the other side. “Hi! Dropping off or picking up?” she asked.

“Dropping off,” the police officer answered.

“Just a second,” Charlie said. She walked inside, then came back out with Alastor.

“You’re a Ghostbuster, right?” the officer asked.

“Indeed I am,” Alastor answered. 

“We picked up this guy. This...fucking weird guy. We knew you guys were into this stuff, so we figured we should check with you,” the officer explained.

“Alright,” Alastor nodded.

The police officer opened the back of his car, where Baxter was sitting inside. “Please tell me you’re the gatekeeper,” he said.

Alastor scanned him with a device, and just as he suspected, the man was possessed. “You should bring him inside,” he said.

The officer nodded and began leading Baxter inside. Charlie smiled at Alastor. “It’s really nice of you to help that man. You’re a real humanitarian,” she said.

“I don’t think he’s human,” Alastor replied. 

Soon, Baxter was in the fire house and hooked up to one of Alastor’s machines. “Now, what did you say your name was?” Alastor asked.

“Seviathan Von Eldritch. Killjoy’s super important key master,” Baxter replied.

“It says here his name is Baxter Marin. He lives in the Helldour Apartment complex,” Charlie said, as she looked over Baxter’s records. “Do you want some coffee, Mr. Marin?” 

“Um...do I?” Baxter asked.

“Yes, have some,” Alastor nodded.

“Yes, have some,” Baxter repeated. 

Charlie nodded and walked off to make the coffee. “Seviathan, you said you were waiting for a sign. What might that sign be?” Alastor asked.

“Katie Killjoy. She will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as this huge ass Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for her: a giant fucking Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, let me tell you!” explained Baxter.

“Alastor, could you...come here for a second?” Charlie asked.

“Certainly, Charlie!” Alastor replied, before he walked over to her.

“There’s something….strange about that guy,” she whispered. “And I have a feeling that something really bad is going to happen to you. I’m afraid you’re going to die,” she added. 

Charlie leaned her head on Alastor’s chest, and he awkwardly placed a hang on her back. Just then, the phone rang. “I’ll get it!” Alastor exclaimed. He rushed over to the phone and picked it up. “Hello?” 

“Al, it’s me,” said Cherri’s voice. “I’m here with Molly. She acted crazy all night, so I knocked her out with a shoe. Anyway, she said she was the Gatekeeper.”

“Ah, what a coincidence. I just met the Key Master. He’s here with me now,” replied Alastor.

“Wow. We have to get these two to meet. Something tells me they’d get along,” Cherri said.

“...I think that bringing the two together would be incredibly dangerous,” Alastor returned.

“Okay, you keep him there, and I’ll be over soon,” Cherri said.

“Alrighty. See you soon,” Alastor replied, before he hung up. As soon as he did, Baxter handed him a jar. “Thank you….Seviathan.”

“No problem, man!” Seviathan smiled.

“Charlie, would you be a dear and call Angel?” Alastor asked. Charlie nodded and ran for the phone.

Meanwhile, at Molly’s apartment, Cherri looked over at the girl in the bed. Molly was still out cold. “Molly, I’m really sorry about hitting you with a shoe. I mean….it was really meant for the demon in you. If that makes you feel any better. Okay, I love you, bye,” she said. She left the room moments later.

Elsewhere, Husk, Angel, and Fat Nuggets were riding in their car. “So Husky, ya really wouldn’t go out with me? Ever?” Angel asked.

“Nope,” Husk returned.

“What if it was just a one night stand?” Angel smirked.

“Hell no,” Husk answered.

“Awww, ya no fun,” Angel said, before he looked over at Fat Nuggets in the backseat. “He’s just a big buzzkill, ain’t he?” he asked. The ghost pig seemed to oink in agreement. Angel smiled, then he looked down at his blueprints in his lap.

“What are you looking at anyway?” Husk asked.

“These are the blueprints for my sister Molly’s apartment building. And they’re fucking weird,” Angel said.

“Hey Angel? This’ll sound weird, but do you remember the Bible talking about the last days? When the dead rise from the grave,” said Husk.

Angel paused to think. “I remember Revelation 7:12 ‘And I looked as he opened the sixth seal. And behold there was a great earthquake, and the sun became as black as sackcloth, and the moon became as blood’,” he recited.

“‘And the seas boiled, and the sky fell’,” Husk added.

“Judgement day…” Angel began.

“Yep,” Husk nodded.

“Y’know, every religion’s got its own myth about the end of the world,” Angel said. 

“Myth? Angel, have you ever considered that the reason we’ve been so busy is that the dead have been rising from the grave,” Husk explained.

Angel’s eyes widened. At that moment, he realized something. They may have been fighting a fight they couldn’t win. He had never considered the end of the world to be the reason for all the paranormal activity, but now it was beginning to make sense.

Fat Nuggets must have sensed Angel’s distress, so he flew over to him and sat in his lap. Fat Nuggets being there made Angel feel a bit better, but he still felt unnerved. “How about a little music?” he asked.

“Go ahead,” Husk answered. Angel put on some music, and the two rode in silence.


End file.
